You're So Pretty For a Dark Skinned Girl

"Pata Pata" by Miriam Makeba

...Hihi ha mama, hi-a-ma sat si pata / Hihi ha mama, hi-a-ma sat si pata...

Actually, I am just pretty.  I have this exotic African look my says boss, informed by the lust of a old White man for a slave girl concubine.  And what is enormously funny is that because he is attracted to me and wants to be "naughty" with me, he thinks my panties are all in a knot over him.  I don't want that old man.  I don't want any men.  Men only seem to be in interested in delivering augmenting efforts to expand the hell I already live in.

But that's neither here nor there.


When I was younger, people used to tell me that I was pretty for a dark skinned girl all the time.  I wasn't particulary offended by it.  I was actually pleased by it.


For back in those days, I was self-conscious about my complexion.  I thought that being light skinned was step number one in being pretty.  And I wasn't aware that I was pretty back then either, so I thought I really needed the light skin to spill all over me and make me pretty.

So when people noticed my face, and told me I was pretty, it was elating.  I needed the reassurance.


Now that I am older, I would be insanely offended if someone said that to me.  I would have to take the time to explain why that is such a heinous way to think and tell them not to tell that to any dark skinned little girl they encountered.  Just tell her that she is pretty and leave it at that.


The problem of complexion among Black people around the world is amazingly sad.  White people and others who are not Black fall into it too, but I excuse them because they aren't Black.  What do they know about Black beauty?


But Black people?  I get disappointed.  How are we so thoroughly brainwashed into believing the White man's idea of beauty is better than our own?  The White Western standard of beauty is fine...if you are White.


And the origin of the complexion complex is so securely explained by slavery and colonization.  Those who were lighter skinned were more acceptable brands of Negro.  They made us think dark skin hideous.  We, Black people, think dark skin is hideous.


Even I, born in Africa to a beautiful African couple, have a complexion complex.  I love my dark skin now.  I love my soft, dark chocolate, even toned skin now.  But I will say that I am glad I am not darker than this.  And there are even times when I look at my body and wish my whole body was the same color as the lighter parts of my body where the sun don't shine.  And when I see people who are very dark skinned, I cringe for them, imagining the self-image issues they have wrestled with and the lack of reinforcement about their beauty.


Then I remind myself that I love myself, brown and dark brown portions.  And I remind myself I love my Black people, neurosis and all.

Nonetheless, I am so perplexed by my People.  It's almost as if we refuse to redefine Our standard of beauty.  We refuse to reject their standard of beauty.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with being as black as tar and there is nothing wrong with being white as snow (as long as you're Black).  So how did it happen that we look our brothers and sisters in their souls and tell them they are not beautiful?  That they are inadequate?


I just don't get it and it frustrates me even to talk about it.  I am unable to even discuss properly here because it's infuriating.  They abandoned slavery and they retired as colonizers but damn has the damage been done.  Black girls and boys in Africa killing themselves with bleaching cream to be what they cannot be.  Black girls and boys around the world living in large rooms of inadequacy, realizing the bleaching cream will never work.